Brooklyn Nets New Year’s Resolutions

Reggie Evans: Don’t change.

Reggie, in 2013, just keep being you. In fact, be you even more.

So far this season you’ve taken 61 shots. Somehow, 11 of those have come from outside of the restricted area (of which you’ve made three). Nope. That’s too many. That’s 18 percent of your shots coming from outside of your range. Hell, no offense, but the restricted area is pretty much out of your range. Stay home, Reggie, stay home.

Also, give more hugs and do more goofy stuff. You already seem very good at both of these things, and this team needs to lighten up. They’re made up of completely new and somewhat disparate parts, but are still playing .500 basketball despite having played the toughest schedule thus far in the Eastern Conference. Regardless, everyone on and around the team is acting like they’ve been eating that grey goop from The Matrix for the past three months.

Reggie, you’ve got to put smiles on their faces. It may not be the life you chose, but it’s the life that’s chosen you. Buy Gerald a Big Mouth Billy Bass. Make bawdy jokes with Deron about the real reason his right wrist hurts so much. Start a book club with Keith Bogans and MarShon. (Maybe don’t joke around with Stackhouse; that dude has got a hair trigger and an experienced right hook.) If you unearth enough of that Uncle Reggie charm, this team may just start having fun. And if we’ve learned anything from cliched sports movies (we’ve learned a lot), once a team starts having more fun, they immediately start winning more games and probably the championship.

-Andrew Gnerre

Next: Kris Humphries